Getting Out of A Funk

by mybiggestphan

For the past two months, I’ve been inching my way out of a funk. In this context, funk depicts a situation where I feel things are not going well for me and it has been taking a physical, mental and emotional toll. On the outside I may seem like I am happy and well adjusted to this life of mine, but on the inside I am a bit struggling. Fortunately, my emotion state of mind has not gotten to the point where I need professional mental health since I feel like I have a strong will and am driven but I have noticed I have been struggling and need to get it off my chest. We’ve all been in similar situations and so it is important to make sure you don’t bottle up your thoughts and true feelings as it can be damaging not only to yourself but to others as well.

So why do I feel like I’m in a slump? It is a time when my physical health, career, fear of the unknown, and financial issues all collide into each other and and causes me to lose my train of though and/or focus. The biggest thing for me are my health concerns. Primarily, I hurt myself near the middle of March in the lower back/hip and leg region. It caused some nerve damage and now I’ve been trying to recover from such a blow by going to physical therapy, acupuncturist and other health professionals who could help. In addition, I’ve been seeing an audiologist for a hearing aid, for hearing loss at the same time as the back and hip injury. Going to these visits with a high co-payment has suddenly hit me hard financially. I’m resorting to credit cards to cover my medical costs and to make ends meet.

Along the lines of finances, I am scheduled to leave my job at the end of May since Queen Latifah will go on hiatus at that point. I have nothing lined up in those months off and hope to freelance in different gigs in order to make ends meet. The fear of not being able to earn enough money to cover rent scares me. And with all these medical bills coming right after the other, it does put me in a bind.

Career wise, I’ve been trying to start my own production company. This is a very exciting endeavor I am moving forward with but I don’t know how it will turn out. I have an idea of what I want this company to become but my poor communication skills often translates into things I should not say out loud or doesn’t get my message across. I’m also spending some of my personal money to start this up and I wonder if I’m getting way too ahead of myself.

With these things hitting me at once, it has becoming damaging to my life. I’ve been stressed out at work because I have to make all these appointments and end up straining career relationships. I can’t physically walk that well, often limping my left leg around, and having to give up a very big part of my life, dodgeball. But you know what, for those of you who are struggling today or at this very moment; think about this and I guarantee that gratefulness will come to you. YOU ARE ALIVE. Yes, if you are reading this, it means you are literate, in an environment where you can access my blog, and can still use your senses, such as your vision. There are those of us who have dealt with struggles such as poverty, consistent health scares and issues, violence and more from the time they first opened their eyes. It puts a lot of things into perspective knowing that my problems are minuscule compared to what others have to face on a daily basis around the world. I have at least medicine to manage my pain; others do not.

I realize that the biggest thing I can do to help manage my stress and struggles is to constantly be grateful for my life. I acknowledge the world as it is and that this is just a phase in my timeline but eventually, it soon will pass. Life is not supposed to be straightforward; going all over the place, really inspires me. Thank you all for dealing with me and reading my blog and please know that I have been improving gradually and expect to be better by mid June.