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im my biggest phan

Tag: inspiration

The Self Starter Guide

What!?! Another website? Another blog? You betcha.

I don’t want to inundate you with countless websites to keep track of but as I said in my previous blog post, I decided to form a new project. It is called the Self Starter Guide and is meant to motivate my readers and to get them to start working on their own projects!

I read a lot of personal development blogs and found that they are so useful in getting me grounded in life. There are so many times when I feel like I am failing and these blogs help reaffirm that I am, like many others, just learning about life as I move along. I want to be an inspiration and source of motivation for others as well and thus the Self Starter Guide was born.

That blog will be updated much more frequently that this one was. There will be three blog posts a week and I know that this will need a lot of my dedication and time. I am more than willing to put myself out there and provide as much experience as I can.

I ask that my readers who have been following me here the past year and half, migrate over to the new page. I’m going to use this blog as a personal blog and will post every so often but the bulk of my content will be on the Self Starter Guide.

Check it out and thank you so much for being so dedicated!

Website: http://www.selfstarterguide.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/selfstarterguide
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/selfstartguide

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A Letter to Myself in 5 Years

I was going about my daily routine of reading blogs from different writers on the web and I stumbled upon Celestine Chua’s Post on LifeHacker

(42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself).

Most of the practices that she mentions are things that I do on a regular basis and all of which I wholeheartedly agree. But one of the things she listed was to Write a Letter to your future self and I found that to be such a grand idea. I wish I had letters from my life a couple years ago and see where my mindset was at the time and how it compared to now. Who I was 5 years ago is completely different from the life I live now and I wish that I had some record of it. That said, I went about writing the letter and found it a valuable experience and encourage all of my readers to do the same.

I’m not going to write about the specific contents of that letter but goals, dreams, and advice to my future self played a huge role. I hope that when I open the letter in June of 2019, I will have accomplished all of my main goals that I had laid out in the letter. I will mail the letter out via USPS to my business address and have it kept there until a couple years down the road. I can’t wait to see my progress. Here’s a picture of me with the drafted letter. Take part and in the challenge and see where it takes you!

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Do Something Ballsy

I have to say, compared to most years in my life, this one has been the one filled with the most surprises for me, especially when it comes to ballsy and risky moves. For example, in January, I chose to go back to school to become a teacher, reversed my frame of mind within a couple of months and elected to form a start-up business instead. From April to my current state, I invested about $6-7k on my credit card to get my company started and yet, there is not a single linger of regret in my body. I wrote openly in my blog about very personal matters, ranging from pornography to suicide and didn’t feel ashamed about writing about such topics. And even though injuries in March, which I am still recovering from, has hurt my soul and threw a huge obstacle in my path, I found that I have continued to prosper and still maintained my positivity throughout it all. This all happened within the course of six months and you see, troubles still lie ahead for me but I want this to be a reflection for my readers that it is truly okay to do really ballsy stuff in your life and encounter different issues along the way, yet one thing you must not let go is your sense of happiness and positive energy.

People keep reminding me about how they cannot dare to dream and take risks because of the lack of time they have on their hands or their position. They are overwhelmed with managing their family, balancing their school course load, or have been significantly injured. I believe these are all excuses that we make up in our mind. Although legitimately these are issues that can disrupt the balance in our lives, we have to make sure that we do not let these responsibilities and situations define us. As I have discovered this year, adjusting to your current state of being and mindset is fundamental to one’s growth. If you dream of something, and it should be big, you should go after it. I truly do not understand the ones who live their lives and are complacent in letting their aspirations pass them by. I’m not sure the reason why we are placed on this Earth but I know it is not just to sit back and simply relax. I think it is all about finding happiness and attaining that one dream that you have envisioned and doing all you can to go after it. And so when people mention they have all these conflicts that come up, I like to tell them that those conflicts are all in their head and that it won’t matter in the long run.

What is there to lose when you start to do something ballsy, something that you never expected to ever do in your life? When I wrote about my addictions, I found it as a way for me to open up about my internal conflicts. And you know what I found, people were receptive. They were inspired and encouraging. They offered support, advice, and yes there were some humorous critiques here and there, but the community as a whole showed me that if you take a leap of faith from time to time, you might get something unexpected in return. Without taking a risk, especially towards your dream, how do you know what will transpire as a result? I am always a believer in finding the truth in a question that I am pondering about and I just simply cannot sit still without finding such an answer.

So it’s about midway through the year and time is passing by very quickly. I can assure you that you will find much more good than bad if you take a chance in life and finally settle that internal question that you’ve always had burning inside of you. Rather than letting those flames of curiosity burn inside you, control it and use to ignite your passion and take you one step closer to your dreams.

The Failures of Kindness

“The failures of kindness” was a phrase that was coined by George Saunders when he gave the convocation speech at Syracuse University in 2013. That phrase resonated with me and allowed me to think about my own personal failures of kindness in my upbringing. If you have not heard the speech yet, I really encourage you to do so at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHNvvL-40mY

There have been many failures of kindness in my life where I had the chance to speak up and do something but I made the conscious choice to ignore it. I chose to not feel strongly about it at the time but looking back, I end up regretting not doing anything. In high school, there was one particular failure of kindness that to this day, I wish I made more of an impact in this one person’s life.

The year was 2004 and I was a freshman in high school who was still closeted about my sexuality. I never felt the pressure or need to come out but I also didn’t have any inclinations to hide who I was either. It was just never a big deal to me. However a new junior/senior student had enrolled in my high school and after seeing him in the hallway from time to time, I just had a gut instinct that he was gay. And I was right. He was open about it and knew who he was. However from my perspective, he looked troubled to me. It always looked like there was a lot going on in his life and he was so quiet. Maybe it was because I was a freshman but I never really got to talk to him even though innately, I wanted to be friends with him and share that common bond between us. He didn’t seem to be very social with his classmates and I wonder to myself if people were ignoring him because of his sexuality, since at the time, being gay was very taboo.

The student didn’t reach out to others and it appeared he lived a life where he went to school and went straight home and be out of that environment as quickly as he could. I think the reason that this has affected me so much was here he was, a role model that has been open about his sexuality and me, who was still hiding in the shadows, not being able to open up to him and understand the difficult position he is in. I didn’t take a chance on him and say “I respect you for who you are and I admire your courage.” If I had the amount of confidence I had now, I feel like our connection and life could have been really different.

The reason I think about these failures of kindness is due to the recent string of violent acts that have been happening on school campuses around the country. It breaks my heart to see innocent men and women fall victim to the actions of a single individual who would be able to commit such atrocities. From a outsider’s perspective, I am always intrigued by the processes that goes on in the perpetrator’s mind and the exact moment that made them click, to finally decide that their course of action was the right one. What is the thrill behind these action and is the emotional suffering of a mass group of people worth it in their eyes?

All of these crimes and acts of violence always get me thinking about the “what ifs” in life and the things that we as a human race could have done to prevent such an act from occurring. It connects back to failures of kindness that we as humans encounter every single day. What if someone had reached out to the young man in the Isla Vista shooting and did an act of kindness that he never expected? Would things could have gone differently or was he doomed from the start?

The main point is that we will have moments in our lives where we can truly be kind and we need to make a conscious decision to act upon it. Our decision can shape that person’s day and perhaps their life and affect the future for the better. Don’t be like me and ponder about the regret about what could have been a meaningful moment.

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